I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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