he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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