his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i dont even know how to be here
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
