'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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