paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
