Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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