If i come over, it means nothing
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
