Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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