just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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