Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
