Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
