Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
