oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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