Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
