Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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