That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
