Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
