she woke up with a sticky ear
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
