So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I will die if light touches me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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