sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
