Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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