If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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