I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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