So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
