She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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