dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
