Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
