I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
