Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
