it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize