just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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