i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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