You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
