So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize