also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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