So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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