We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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