Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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