the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
