I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
