You can't special order awesome
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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