I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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