I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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