guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
