he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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