her vagine was all disorganized.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
