I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
