And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
