I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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