I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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