I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
