didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
