I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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