even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We are two peas in an std pod
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
