I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
