I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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