BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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