im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Where did you get a picture of my penis
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
