We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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