take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
