I want to walk on stilts...naked
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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